Within our society there is much ignorance and misinformation about the crime of male rape and sexual abuse and we believe that in order to help those who have suffered this ordeal, it is necessary to dispel the myths and break down the taboos of male sexual assault. There are copious myths about male rape/abuse that are accepted by society which serve only to minimise the severity of the crime. In the same way as those around female rape, these myths remove the responsibility for the crime from where it truly belongs ---- with the perpetrator. Societal beliefs in these myths affect not only the self-perception of those who have experienced the violation but also the manner in which other individuals treat them.

Accepting and understanding the reality rather than the myths, can give survivors the courage and strength to access support and counselling in order to make sense of how they have allowed their experience to affect their life. Below are some of the most common questions that are asked about male rape and sexual abuse, which we anticipate will positively dispel previously held mistaken beliefs and so help in responding appropriately to male survivors.

Myth: Most rapists are strangers.
Reality: In female rape most acts are committed by people known to the victim and male violation is absolutely no different, although it is strangers who execute most male gang rapes and acts of anti-gay violence. The reality is that anyone can commit this crime and anyone can be a victim.

Myth: ‘Real’ men can't be sexually assaulted.
Reality: Men are sexually assaulted every day and perpetrators do not discriminate on any grounds. All sexual predators are recidivists (1) and as such there is little doubt the attacker will have done this before and will be primed for what is about to happen. Few men ever consider the possibility that they may be sexually assaulted. They are therefore undeniably unsuspecting and shocked and totally surprised when it occurs. There is no right or wrong way to react to a sexual assault and whichever way an individual does react, it is OK for them. People do whatever they can do to survive a life threatening situation.

Myth: Males are less traumatised by an abusive experience than females.
Reality: Studies show that long-term effects are damaging for both sexes, but males can feel more damaged by society's refusal or reluctance to accept their victimisation and by their own ensuing belief that they must remain silent or face potential ridicule. Due to the difficulties faced by males in admitting they have been raped; many try to forget it ever happened to them, but this denial can frequently lead to self-harming behaviour including drug and alcohol abuse/addiction; offending; aggression; self-mutilation; suicide attempts; subsequent relationships problems and sexual promiscuity/impotency.

Myth: If a male experiences sexual arousal or orgasm during an assault, it means he was a willing participant or enjoyed it.
Reality: It is a medical fact that due to the positioning of the prostate gland, males can and do experience sexual arousal during anal penetration, even in distressing or painful sexual situations, but as the body is designed to respond to touch this is purely an involuntary physiological reaction.

Perpetrators are fully aware of this fact and often use it to maintain secrecy and brand the victim’s sexual response as an indication of enjoyment and participation. "You liked it, you wanted it," they'll say. Many survivors feel confusion, guilt and shame because they experienced physical arousal while being abused. Physical and visual or auditory stimulation is likely to happen in any sexual situation but, this does not mean that the victim wanted the experience or understood his physiological reaction.

What is the prostate gland and where is it located?

The prostate gland is part of a male's reproductive system and surrounds the ejaculatory duct. The main function of this gland is to store and produce seminal fluid which is a milky liquid that nourishes sperm. It requires male hormones like testosterone to function properly, helping normal sexual function and is the reason why stimulation of the prostate gland produces and erection and ejaculation. This diagram and explanation will hopefully explain more clearly why sexual arousal happens during anal penetration, be it penile, digital or with objects.

When penetration takes place with adolescent and adult males, pressure on the prostate gland will cause an erection and due to this pressure, some fluid will be released. Pressure on the seminal vesicles, (a pair of tube like glands which make most of the content of semen and are situated behind the bladder) will release a lot of fluid, similar to an ejaculation. Some perpetrators will ensure that ejaculation takes place in order to make the victim feel more humiliated, bewildered, guilty and ashamed. In cases of pre-pubescent child sexual abuse, the perpetrator stimulates the child causing an erection, which evokes the same emotional reactions. The abusers recognise that this will undoubtedly cause emotional confusion and  negate the chances of the crime being spoken about or reported to the police.

Myth: Only gay men are sexually assaulted. 
Reality: Although anecdotally, gay men are assaulted somewhat more often than heterosexual men, this can be due to the fact that they are more at risk of attacks from other men they meet causally or on ‘dates’.  As a means of humiliation and degradation rape is also used against males in acts of anti-gay violence. Statistics from the Home Office for 1997 show that during that year 342 men were raped. (Statistics from Mind.org.uk) The true extent of male rape is unknown due to male victims being more hesitant than female victims to report sexual crime. Some studies suggest one of the many reasons for lack of males reporting is that homosexual men fear an unsympathetic response from the police, whilst heterosexual men often fail to report sexual assaults through fear of being thought of or labelled as gay.

Those who molest males are not demonstrating homosexual orientation any more than abusers who molest females are indicating heterosexual behaviour. Boys are also more likely to also experience physical abuse in addition to the sexual abuse and while many child molesters have gender and/or age sexual preferences, of those who seek out only boys the vast majority are not homosexual. 84% of those who perpetrate sexual offences are male (Finkelhor, 1984). 83% of child molesters are heterosexual while the remaining 17% are bisexual (Groth, 1979).

Myth: Adult men cannot be sexually assaulted by women.
Reality: Although (97-98%) of reported perpetrators are male, women do commit sexual assault, but males seldom speak about this reality and actual figures for this crime are unavailable. Violence against men also occurs in the mother-son relationship as well as the female-partner relationship. (BBC 1997) (2)

Myth: Rape in gay couples does not exist.
Reality: Rape occurs in any relationship; marriage or cohabitation; straight or gay; female or male. Through physical, psychological or emotional coercion, people are forced by their partners to engage in unwanted sexual acts, including oral or anal sex. Thankfully the law now recognises that everyone has the right to be safe from sexual violation by their partner and all relationships have the same recognition.

(1) recidivist: a person who continually relapses into crime

(2)BBC 1, Panorama, broadcast on 6 October 1997, summary and full transcript available at:
http://www.vix.com/menmag/panosumm.htm.