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| Types of Abuse |
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Who is to Blame?
Many survivors struggle with self-blame, primarily because they may have known their attacker and because many of these assaults happen on a date or at other social functions where the survivor may have been drinking or using recreational drugs. This does not make the attack the survivor's fault or responsibility.
Think about the children here, how can very young children be at fault for the abuse they have suffered? No one asks to be raped or sexually abused. This is an excuse used by those who commit these crimes to shift the blame and responsibility away from the offender.
No one can be held responsible for the actions of, or the choices made by another person. Those who rape, assault or sexually abuse children, make a choice to do so and the responsibility definitely belongs with them and only them.
Rape, sexual assault and child sexual abuse is not about conflicting messages, mixed signals, or miscommunication. It is about people who disregard what they hear and see and refuse to respect the feelings and boundaries of others.
Sexual violation is without doubt, a selfish act and although some offenders may try to convince their victims otherwise, sexual violation is neither impulsive nor accidental. Most sexual offences are premeditated and offenders plan out how they will inflict harm on others. Most just do not care how much they hurt another person. They use sex as a weapon, as a way to express hostility and anger and as a way to act out their desire for power and control.
The sexual offence laws recognise that these crimes can be committed by either sex and can be committed against a male or a female.
Marriage or cohabitation doesn't give anyone the right to have sex. It is no excuse under British law that the victim of sexual offence is the wife or partner of the offender. If someone forces another person to engage in sexual activities against her or his will, then that is rape or sexual assault.
It is never okay to have sex with someone who is asleep or unconscious through alcohol or other drugs. Paying for drinks or a meal for someone, doesn't entitle anyone to have sex either.
Abusers are only concerned with their own feelings and what they want. |
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